PARENTS’ EXPERIENCES REGARDING THE COMING-OUT PROCESS OF A GAY OR LESBIAN CHILD

  • Assim Alpaslan Department of Social Work, University of South Africa, Pretoria, South Africa.
  • Theresa Johnston Social Worker, Child Protection Unit, Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
  • Veonna Goliath Department of Social Development Professions, Nelson Mandela Metropolitan University, Port Elizabeth, South Africa.
DOI: https://doi.org/10.15270/45-1-219

Abstract

Coming out of the closet, that is, identifying or labelling oneself publicly as gay or lesbian, isone of the most difficult and potentially traumatic experiences a gay/lesbian person canundertake (Woog, 1997). For many gays/lesbians this process is a journey which starts at thefirst awareness of being different from others. It then follows the route of coming out to oneself– labelling oneself as gay/lesbian – and finally letting others know of one’s sexual orientation.A large amount of the gay/lesbian person’s energy goes into deciding where, when, how and towhom he/she will disclose his/her sexual orientation. They are greatly concerned about thepossible risks and consequences of “coming out” to significant others (Moses, 1986:80).

References

AMNESTY INTERNATIONAL. 1998. Campaigning for lesbian and gay human rights. Gay

Times, March, 13-21, 22, 26.

ARMESTO, J.C. 2001. Attributions and emotional reactions to the identity disclosure (“coming

out”) of a homosexual child, Family Process, 40(2):145. Available: EBSCOhost: Academic

Search Premier, Item: AN4766183. [Accessed: 20/11/2002].

BEN-ARI, A. 1995a. The discovery that an offspring is gay: parents’, gay men’s and lesbians’

perspectives. Journal of Homosexuality, 30(1):89-112.

BEN-ARI, A. 1995b. Coming out: a dialectic of intimacy and privacy. Families in Society:

The Journal of Contemporary Human Services, 76(5):306-312.

BERZON, B. 2000. Mom, Dad, I’m not going away, Advocate, 29 February: 11. Available:

EBSCOhost: Academic Search Premier, Item: AN2828635. [Accessed: 19/08/2001].

BORHEK, M.V. 1988. Helping gay and lesbian adolescents and their families. A mother’s

perspective. Journal of Adolescent Health Care, 9(2):123-128.

BUTLER, A.H. 2000. A qualitative study on the coming out of gay and lesbian youth. Port

Elizabeth: University of Port Elizabeth. (PhD Thesis).

CHAN, C.S. 1989. Issues of identity development among Asian-American lesbians and gay

men. Journal of Counselling and Development, 23:45.

CLARKE, D. 1987. Loving someone gay. Millbrae: Celestial Arts.

CRAMER, D.W. & & ROACH, A.J. 1988. Coming out to mom and dad: a study of gay males

and their relationships with their parents. Journal of Homosexuality, 15(3/4):79-91.

CRESWELL, J.W. 1994. Research design: qualitative and quantitative approaches.

Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications.

CRABTREE, B.F. & MILLER, W.L. 1999. Doing qualitative research (2nd ed). Thousand

Oaks: Sage Publications.

DONALEK, J.G. & SOLDWISCH, S. 2004. Demystifying nursing research: an introduction to

qualitative research methods. Urologic Nursing, 24(4):354-356.

DU PLESSIS, J. 1999. Oor gay wees. Kaapstad: Tafelberg-Uitgewers Beperk.

FALZARANO, A. 1997. New group supports parents. Christianity Today, 41(1):66.

FIELDS, J. 2001. Normal queers: straight parents respond to their children’s “coming out”,

Symbolic Interaction, 24(2):165. Available: EBSCOhost: Academic Search Primer. Item:

An4757111. [Accessed: 29/08/2001].

FOSSEY, E., HARVEY, C., McDERMOTT, F. & DAVIDSON, L. 2002. Understanding and

evaluating qualitative research. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 36:717-

GABRIEL, R. 2001. Calling all parents, Advocate, 745:32. Available: EBSCOhost: Academic

Search Primer, Item: AN971109153. [Accessed: 29/08/2001].

GANONG, L.H. & COLEMAN, M. 2002. Family resilience in multiple contexts. Journal of

Marriage and the Family, 64:346-348.

GIDEONSE, T. 1997. PFLAG’S family crisis, Advocate, 745:32. Available: EBSCOhost:

Academic Search Premier, Item: AN9711091531. [Accessed: 29/08/2001].

GOFFMAN, E. 1997. Stigma: notes on the management of spoiled identity. Englewood

Cliffs, New Jersey: Prentice Hall.

GREEN, R.-J. 1996. Lesbians, gay men, and their parents: a critique of LaSala and the

prevailing clinical ‘wisdom’, Family Process, 39:257. Available: EBSCOhost: Academic

Search Primer, Item: AN3348859. [Accessed: 29/08/2001].

HAMACHEK, D. 1992. Encounters with self (4th ed). Michigan State University. New York:

Harcourt Brace Javanovich College Publishers.

HAWKINS, R.O. 1996. Counselling lesbian women and gay men: a life issues approach.

London: Bell and Howell.

HOLLOWAY, I. & WHEELER, S. 1996. Qualitative research for nurses. Great Britain:

MPG Books Ltd.

JOUBERT, D. 1998. Onlogiese liefde. Op pad met my gay kind. Pretoria: JL van Schaik.

KAY, J. 1997. Mom, dad, I’m gay. You Magazine, January 7:86-87.

KREFTING, L. 1991. Rigor in qualitative research: the assessment of trustworthiness. The

American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 45(03):214-222.

KVALE, S. 1996. Interviews: an introduction to qualitative research interviewing.

Thousand Oaks: Sage Publications Inc.

LASALA, M.C. 2000. Lesbian, gay men, and their parents: family therapy for the coming-out

crisis, Family Process, 39(1):67. Available: EBSCOhost: Academic Search Premier, Item:

AN3024409. [Accessed: 29/08/2001].

MORRIS, C.G. 1996. Psychology: an introduction (9th ed). New York: Prentice Hall Press.

MOSES, A.E. 1986. Counselling lesbian women and gay men. London: Merrill Publishing

Company.

NEUMAN, W.L. 1997. Social research methods: qualitative and quantitative approaches.

London: Allyn & Bacon.

REPSOLD, R. 1997. A mother’s story. In: GERMOND, P. & DE GRUNCHY, S. (eds) Aliens

in the household of God. Homosexuality and faith in South Africa. Cape Town: David

Phillips.

SALTZBURG, S. 2007. Narrative therapy pathways for re-authoring with parents of

adolescents coming-out as lesbian, gay and bisexual. Contemporary Family Therapy, 29:57-

SAVIN-WILLIAMS, R.C. 1989. Coming out to parents and self-esteem among gay and lesbian

youth. Journal of Homosexuality, 18(1/2):1-35.

THOMAS, M.B. 1992. An introduction to marital and family therapy. Counselling toward

healthier family systems across the lifespan. New York: Maxwell Macmillan International.

WARREN, A. & WIEDENKELLER, J. 1993. When sons and daughters are gay or lesbian.

Mothering, 69:54. Available: EBSCOhost: MasterFILE Premier, Item: AN9402235148.

[Accessed: 29/08/2001].

WOOG, D. 1997. Our parents, Advocate, 745:24. Available: EBSCOhost: Academic Search

Premier, Item: AN9711091529. [Accessed: 18/11/2002].

Published
2014-06-19
How to Cite
Alpaslan, A., Johnston, T., & Goliath, V. (2014). PARENTS’ EXPERIENCES REGARDING THE COMING-OUT PROCESS OF A GAY OR LESBIAN CHILD. Social Work/Maatskaplike Werk, 45(1). https://doi.org/10.15270/45-1-219
Issue
Vol. 45 No. 1 (2009)
Section
Articles

This journal is an open access journal, and the authors  and journal should be properly acknowledged when works are cited.

Social Work/Maatskaplike Werk hold copyright.

Auhtors may use the publishers version for teaching purposes, in books, and with conferences.

The following license applies:

Attribution CC BY-4.0

This license lets others distribute, remix, tweak, and build upon your work, even commercially, as long as they credit you for the original creation.

Articles as a whole may not be re-published with another journal.